6/7/2011: The Day of Destroy Everything We Own...

...as it would later be dubbed by husband began at 6:15 am when our super cute 9 month old decided she really wanted to somebody to hang out with.  Of course, as it always seems, this also happened to be the one day when the Mister was not feeling well and thus planning on sleeping in a little longer than normal.

Let me stop right here and say, my first attempt at this post was 2 pages long, before I ever reached the 9am hour.  After reading the ""rough" draft Mr. Eanes felt it might be best to convey the day in list format thus saving you from enduring the long, albeit super interesting, second-by-second play-by-play of life experiences on "They Day of Destroy Everything We Own".   So...

6:15 am- giggles come over the monitor, Mr. Eanes moans that his body is aching which I believe may have been code for "quickly get the baby so I can turn over and go back to sleep".

7:25am- Mia, Oats, and I with nothing to do but attempt at keeping quiet, decide to take a walk.

8:30am- We return, without event, and it is decided that any day where you complete a 3 mile walk by 8:30am cannot be expected to pan out that well.

8:35am- Mr. Eanes greets us on the stairs holding two pieces of his belt- he has an estimate in 30 minutes and cannot find another suitable replacement- I look around the closet & decide it is either no belt or one of my super cool fabric belts- he opts for no belt and asks if he looks stupid- I say kinda- he leaves for work.

8:45am- I decide to put Mia down for her nap a few minutes early since she decided she wanted to see what the 6am hour looked like.

8:50am- Our once quiet street sounds like something out of a war zone as big, huge, loud men and their big, huge, loud trucks decide now is the perfect time to start cutting down trees across the street

8:55am- Big, huge, loud man #1 goes up into what resembles an electricity truck with big, huge, loud man #2 behind the steering wheel below.  Apparently it is big, huge, loud man etiquette to try and maintain a conversation from 20 feet above someone over the sound of massive chain saws and falling tree limbs.  Somebody passed etiquette, as I can hear them from my bathroom on the other side of the house.

9:20am- I receive an email telling me I have been removed from the meet-up mom's & dad's group, as I am delinquent in paying my dues... the dues are 3 dollars... every six months...

9:50am- Mia's morning nap is now over, as all the limbs have been removed and are now being axed in half 10 feet from her window.

9:55am- The tree guys decide it would be a good time to take a break and the street remains quiet for the next 3 hours.

10:45am- Mr. Eanes makes a surprise visit to the house, having another estimate in Winston- he simply does not have time to go back to the workhouse in-between.

10:55am- In lieu of the surprise visit home, I decide I need a surprise visit to Starbucks- I hand Mr. Eanes the still super cute- even though she hasn't slept baby- and head out the door.

10:59am- In a lame attempt to keep the gardenia limbs from scratching my car, I make a hasty right tilt coming out of the driveway and hit Mr. Eanes' work truck instead.  I should have hit the limbs.

11:01am- I chant... "please let there be no damage, please let there be no damage, please let there be no damage"

11:02am- There is damage.

11:03am- I go inside, tell Mr. Eanes of the incident, and declare that I will still be going to Starbucks.

11:07am- Frazzled by the girl in Starbucks & perhaps by hitting the car, I order a venti.

11:09am- I am now holding a drink bigger than my entire face.

11:14am- I am walking through the door of our house, when the phone rings- I do not recognize the number but decide to answer it anyway- I never do this.

11:15am- The receptionist at Mia's physical therapist wants to know if Mia is coming in today? (which is a polite way of saying... "where in the heck are you and why can't you people ever show up on time")

11:16am- I explain to the reception our appointment is on Friday, to which she says- "no, it is in fact today- 30 minutes ago today"  I continue to hold fast that it is on Friday, since that is what it says in my calendar when she drops her final defense... "the therapist doesn't work Friday."

11:17am- I tell her we can be there at noon.

11:18am- I curse the calendar and take another sip of Starbucks.

11:25am- I redress Mia as it is now official we will be seen in public today and our first outfit was more of a "I wear this at home when no one is looking" type.

11:55am- We leave for physical therapy- I am concerned I resemble someone who just crawled out of a trash can, Mr. Eanes reminds me we don't know anyone here anyway, Mia giggles.

12:00pm- We arrive at PT, apologize over and over again and walk into the back where... a guy comes up and starts playing with Mia's feet.  I turn to look and am immediately dumbfounded... we know someone.  And I still look like I just crawled out of a trash can.

12:50pm- Our favorite PT tells us she will be leaving and all of her cases will be handled by someone else. I must look really upset about it b/c at...

12:52pm- She gives me a hug.  And I still look like I just crawled out of a trash can.

1:35pm- We finally are home to a quiet street, diaper changed, books read, ready for our 2nd nap.

1:45pm- The big, huge, loud men from across the street begin loading trees into a WOOD CHIPPER and SHOOTING them into the creek on our neighbors property.

1:47pm- I really want to say a bad word.

2:45pm- Mia's second nap is now over, an hour earlier than it should be, and no less than 2 ginormous trees have now been chipped to shreds.

2:48pm- The tree people pack up and leave for the day.

2:49pm- I google noise ordinances.

6:00pm- I go running with our neighbor and Mr. Eanes takes pre-bedtime duty.

6:25pm- Unbeknownst to him, Mr. Eanes is attempting to put Mia in the bath with a small diaper deposit still attached to her bottom.

6:27pm- Mr. Eanes catches the problem, promptly returns to the changing table, where the wipes are out.

6:33pm- Mr. Eanes searches the house frantically looking for wipes- I have moved them from their previous location and have neglected to tell him about it.  I am currently still running and telling our neighbor about our "so many things went wrong all you could do was laugh" day.

6:38pm- The wipes are located and the situation appears under control until he looks down and sees Mia's feet covered in an unknown, brown, substance.

6:40pm- Mr. Eanes is now wiping poo off the top and bottom of Mia's feet.

8:00pm- I stop in our downstairs bathroom to check on John who is attempting to paint over blood red walls with something a little more relaxing.

8:01pm- I step in paint.

8:04pm- I track said paint all over our wood floors.


8:10pm- I cannot see the floors to get the paint up because our "built in the 80's when it wasn't cool to have overhead lights" living room is too dark to see in.  Convinced Mia would strangle herself with the lamp cord, it was moved out last week.  

8:15pm- I decide the paint is not relaxing when on the floor- Mr. Eanes declares this "The Day of Destroy Everything We Own Day..."