The Making of the Six Month Pictures

The trouble with social media is that creates an illusion world that cannot be matched by reality.  By taking mere snapshots of life and making them public information, people create the image of life they would have us see rather than the reality that actually is.  I know this, and yet, I fall victim to it every time.  I cruise around on Facebook and suddenly discover via Sally’s wall that Jane is getting a new car, and the illusion begins.  Jane has everything- a perfect husband (I know this because last week he cooked her dinner and took her out for dessert where he presented her with a diamond bracelet, and I know this because her status update told me so), perfect kids (they always look so cute in pictures and the oldest got all A’s on his report card), a great dog (she seems to fit perfectly snuggled up on the couch next to her babies), a dream house (she posted the remodel pictures last year), and she loves her job.  Gosh, I wish I were Jane.  I would send her a message and tell her how happy I am for her about her life, but it might be weird.  Why you ask?  Oh, did I not mention I haven’t talked to her since high school? And, to be completely fair, I really didn’t talk to her that much then either.  

Ahhh, social media.  

For all I know Jane is sitting at home with one kid in time out while the other throws food to the dog from their high chair yelling at the top of her lungs.  And while that date was super sweet with her husband, it was the first one they have been on since their first baby came along 7 years ago,  hopefully he can make up for that with the diamonds.  The house is great and they really hope Little Stevie thinks so too, because that oh so sparkly new granite counter top everywhere, represents what would have been is freshman year at the University of Texas.  Sorry kid, this world needs grocery store cashiers too, and well Mom and Dad really needed that extra closet space…where else would we have put the 97 pairs of shoes your mother owns.   

Again, I don’t even know Jane.  

Perhaps her husband is just that awesome and her dog doesn’t have the same “I pee on everything I see whether it is inside or out” problem that Otis does, and maybe, just maybe in this me focused, instant gratification crazed world Jane and her husband actually worked really hard and wisely invested the gifts God gave them and that new remodel is a testament to their patience and faithfulness.  

Maybe, but maybe not. 

Either way it doesn’t really matter, but the point is there… things are not always as they seem.  So, when I started getting the multiple comments and sweet emails about Mia’s six month pictures I had to chuckle just a little to myself… indeed things are not always what they seem. 

I like to pretend that I am laid back, but I’m not.  There I said it… I am not laid back.  Not only am I not laid back, but on most days I dance more on the edge of high strung.  I like things done the way I like them and when I know someone is going to be in our house I like it to look like no one actually lives in it.  You know, the look says “this house was just in a magazine shoot” and when someone is nice enough to mention it I say “oh, thanks I just picked a few things up this morning…”  Yeah right, more like I just spent the past two days scrubbing the baseboards so why don’t you go ahead and stick your tongue on them to check for dust.  

No really, go ahead.  

Needless to say, my husband was less than thrilled when I told him we would need to “clean” for Mia’s six month pictures.  The funny part is we just had two sets of guests in town and so the house was pretty clean by all normal standards.  The dust had been cleared off the fans, the microwave had been wiped out, the cobwebs cleaned off the windows outside and the top of the kitchen cabinets had been thoroughly sanitized.  However it was not quite perfect enough and thus my husband, my mother, and I spent the prettiest day the W-S had seen in a month inside slaving away over picture preparations.  I switched out the sheet in Mia’s crib, because we all know the crib makes an ubber cute picture spot, shoved every toy that does not have a home into the back of the closet, and spent an  hour attempting to polish the fixtures on the sink the bathroom.  

Oh, wait… you haven’t heard?  

The best baby pictures always take place in the guest bathroom sink.  

My fairly consistent napper decided that today would be the day she would refuse to sleep and so John, (probably with a sigh of relief and quick prayer of thanks to God for getting him out of the house) took off with Mia in the car, hoping to turn what little time we had left into a nap.  I cleaned, I called John, she was still not sleeping, I freaked out to myself, I cleaned some more, I called John again, and so the cycle went.   

The picture perfect day began to turn a little dark and we noticed some clouds rolling in.  Mia returned home with no more hours of rest than she originally left with, we put her into the bath and waited until the doorbell rang to put her dress on.  If the reflux has taught me anything, it is that nothing is spared from its wrath.  Sarah, the sweet photographer takes a look around and decides to start in Mia’s room.  

Nope, not in the crib… imagine that.  

We sit with Mia on the floor and not only does she refuse to smile, she fusses, a lot.  She continues to fuss… we try to make her happy but all the poor baby wants to do is sleep.  Honestly, she could really care less she is six months old.  The photographer suggests we try some toys to make her happy, all of the sudden I really wish I wouldn’t have thrown everything into the back of the closet.  I now cannot find her favorite toy.  We try a different room, a different pose, a different toy and fifteen minutes later it is decided… the photographer will just have to come back.  She asks if that is ok with us, which we respond to with a “sure, if that works for you”.

 

And then she says it… “Wow, you guys are just so laid back…”.

I look at John with a satisfactory smile, as if I have just stolen something and gotten away while he gapes at me, mouth wide open, head shaking, thinking “I cannot believe she just said that.”  Sarah leaves and right as I am thinking that perhaps we can salvage what is left of the day, it begins to rain.  Two days later Sarah comes back and scene is pretty much the same.  Mia, thankfully has slept a little more, and the house needed a little less cleaning than it previously did, but you would never know that by the anxiety in my heart over the hair on the bathroom floor.  John comes home from work and tells me the pictures will turn out badly because everyone will see the stress in my face, I agree the pictures will turn out badly, but not because of my stress, because the toilet paper roll in the downstairs bathroom never got changed.  My mom says Mia will feel tense if we are and therefore the pictures will turn out badly.  To which I say, greeeeaaaatttt, and continue to shake my head.  Sarah arrives, and suddenly we all smile.   

We took pictures for an hour and when it was finished I felt almost has accomplished as I did when I crossed the 26.2 mile marker in the Baltimore Marathon.   I did not care about the bathroom floor, the toilet paper roll, or even how the pictures went, they were over.  In reality, my expectations were low, not because I doubted our photographers ability, but because I doubted us.  Then, I saw the results.  Amazing.  And, I thought to myself… things certainly are not what they appear.

Mia's Six Month Pictures

Somewhere in the midst of empty toilet paper rolls, a bathroom floor covered in hair, and a fussy baby Sarah managed to capture those.  Amazing.